A Driver, By Any Other Name...
1/03/2014
PattyKay Lilley
I bid
you welcome gentle readers, and I believe I've found something of
"educational value" with which to entertain you today as we begin our
long hike through the snows of January, trekking ever onward to the prize awaiting
us at the end of February... the Daytona 500. (Thought I was going to say
"Spring" didn't you?) This column originally
appeared on the pages of Insider Racing News on April 7, 2006. Ordinarily, I
would give it a "makeover", refreshing both beginning and end, but to
my surprise, when I dug up this one it contained mention of an announcement of
which I am inordinately proud, so I chose to leave the original column intact
and share that with you today.
All I
can say is that if you weren't around for The Lady in Black,
just ask some of those that come here who were. She had a bit of a cult
following... so much so that occasionally even I forgot she wasn't actually a
separate entity. Hey! I have blamed her for saying certain things, and it
worked so well that for a time, I made a habit of it. "Wasn't me Boss. It was that Lady!"
The Lady in Black
Explains NASCAR Drivers’ Nicknames
I bid
you welcome, gentle readers. This column is a bit different from what you’re
used to reading on a Friday, but I have two very good reasons for writing it
now. First, since I chose to resurrect the “Lady in Black” column this year,
I’ve received several requests from new readers for a complete list of the
nicknames seen in that column. Second, as announced on Tuesday, that column has
been chosen by the organization, Soldiers’
Angels, for distribution to our men and women in the
Bear in
mind that I’ve been doing this column for a long while, so not all of the
nicknames may be familiar to everyone, as they do change from time to time.
Also, I’m afraid there are generally more names for those we see more often,
than for those that habitually head for the lounge early in the race. Here
then, by current car numbers, is a listing of most of the current weekly
warriors and their pseudonyms.
00 ~ Hermie Sadler ~ Hoimie, Candy
Man’s big brother
01 ~ Joe
Nemechek ~ Joe Upchuck, Captain Nemo, the Army of One
(sometimes combined)
07 ~
Clint Bowyer ~ Clint Bow-Wow
09 ~
Mike Wallace ~ Mike Wall-Ace, Finchmobile
1 ~
Martin Truex Jr. ~ Martin Trueheart, OJ (The Other
Junior)
2 ~ Kurt
Busch ~ Busch League Kid, Buschytail, Jimmy’s
Punching Bag, Blue Deuce
4 ~
Scott Wimmer ~ Scott Whimper, Scotch and Soda Wimmer
5 ~ Kyle
Busch ~ Kellogg’s Kid, Shrub
6 ~ Mark
Martin ~ Mark the Munchkin, Mighty Marky, Viagra
Wagon, Pfizer Riser
7 ~
Robby Gordon ~ the Other Gordon, Rubby Gordon, Rapid
Robby
8 ~ Dale
Earnhardt Jr. ~ Dale the lesser, the Bud Stud, Budmobile,
Bud Beer wagon
9 ~ Kasey
Kahne ~
10 ~
Scott Riggs ~ Scoot Riggs
11 ~
Denny Hamlin ~ Denny Ramblin’
12 ~
Ryan Newman ~ the New Man, Flyin’ Ryan, Friday Ryan,
Rolling Phone Booth
13 ~
Greg Sacks ~ Greg Sacked
14 ~ Sterlin’ Silver, Tarnished Sterlin’,
Septic Tank
15 ~
Paul Menard ~ As yet unnamed
16 ~
Greg Biffle ~ Groggy Biffle, Greg Baffled, Greg Blissful
17 ~
Matt Kenseth ~ Mutt Kenseth, Mad Dog Kenseth, Matt the Brat, DeWalt Tool Cart
18 ~
J.J. Yeley ~ Yay-Yay Jelly, the Green Machine
19 ~
Jeremy Mayfield ~ Jeremy Mayfail, Jeremy May Be Fast,
Germy Mayfield
20 ~
21 ~ Ken
Schrader ~ Ken Shredder
22 ~
23 ~ Bill
Lester ~ Bill Let’s Race
24 ~
Jeff Gordon ~ Jeffy-Poo, Flameboy,
Car with the Flames, Rainbow Boy, Rainbow Warrior
25 ~
Brian Vickers ~ Brian Snickers, Brian the Vicar, Vick’s Vapor Rub, Carrot Top
26 ~
Jamie McMurray ~ Jiminy McCricket, Jamie McCutey,
27 ~
Kirk Shelmerdine ~ Kirk Fillerdine,
Kirk Shall Shine
29 ~
Kevin Harvick ~ Kevin Havoc, Kreatin’ Havoc
31 ~
Jeff
32 ~
Travis Kvapil ~ Travis Waffle
33 ~
Kerry Earnhardt ~ This man looks so much like his father that I’ve never
considered having fun at his expense.
34 ~
36 ~
Bill Elliott ~ Million dollar Biyull, the Awesome
One, Wild Bill
37 ~
Mike Skinner ~ Mule Skinner
38 ~
Elliott Sadler ~ Candy Man, Idiot Sadler, Elliott Sadder
40 ~
David Stremme ~ David Stray
41 ~
Reed Sorenson ~ Ready Sorenson, Rolling Target
42 ~
Casey Mears ~ Casey Merely, Casey Smears, Casey Miracle, Car with the Star
43 ~
Bobby Labonte ~ Bobby Lobotomy, Bobby the Bounty Hunter
44 ~
Terry Labonte ~ Terry Lobotomy,
45 ~
Kyle Petty ~ Cow Patty (Just listen to him say his name)
48 ~
Jimmie Johnson ~ Junior Johnson, Jeffy’s Mini-me
49 ~
Brent Sherman ~ Brent Who
55 ~
Michael Waltrip ~ Mikey Wall-Trip, Long tall Mikey, Jaws II the sequel, Still employed Mikey, NAPA Parts Cart, Mikey the
Mouth (He’s just too easy!)
61 ~
Kevin LePage ~ Kevin Glue, Kevin Lapped
66 ~
Jeff Green ~ Jeff the Greenhorn, Jeff Green jeans, Not Easy Being Green
74 ~
Derrike Cope ~ Can’t Cope, Coping Well
78 ~
Kenny Wallace ~ Herman the German, Rusty’s baby brother, the “other” Kenny,
Kenny Wall-Ace, Kenny the Clown
88 ~
Dale Jarrett ~ Dale Swear-it, Big Brown Truck
89 ~
Morgan Shepherd ~ The Good Shepherd
92 ~
95 ~
99 ~
Carl Edwards ~ Prince Edwards of Roush
That’s a
fairly comprehensive list of the current crop of competitors, but some of the
underfunded teams switch drivers at the drop of a hat and new rookies try their
hand at the Cup level every year, so the list is constantly changing. Also,
your humble writer reserves the right to change anyone’s name when he (or she)
does something to earn a new one. I play fair and always give you one or two
chances to recognize that, usually by including the driver’s real first or last
name or the car number.
Now
missing from the list of active drivers are some that I dearly miss writing
about every week. A few that are gone but not forgotten include:
Rusty
Wallace ~ Krusty old Veteran, Rusty Wall-Ace, Blue
Deuce
Ricky
Rudd ~ Rickety Rudd, Ricky Rude
Geoff Bodine ~ Geoff Bodiddley, Jethro Bodine
Ward
Jimmy
Spencer ~ Jimmy who never forgets, Elephant man, Mongo (I miss that one), Mr.
Excitement
John
Andretti ~ John Android, John Spaghetti
Johnny Sauter ~ Little Johnny Slaughter
Darrell
Waltrip ~ Darrell Wall-Trip, Ol’ DW, Jaws, the Original (But I can still have
fun with him in the booth)
Ricky
Craven ~ Ricochet Craven
Besides
the drivers, you’ll sometimes see some colorful characters on the perimeter
like Brian Finance (Brian France ~ the head suit), Godfather Mike or the
Godfather (Mike Helton, the guy that runs the show), NASCAR’s Favorite
Leprechaun (Top Cop John Darby), Brett Bodiddley (In
the pace car), crew chief Cheat Knaus (Chad Knaus) and anyone else that takes
my fancy on a particular day. I’m not sure exactly when the beer breaks became
a part of the farce but they seem to fit in nicely, so I’ve left them there.
For the
inquiring minds among you, I never work from a tape if I can avoid doing so. I
take handwritten notes during each race in a self-constructed type of
shorthand, and then transcribe them later into the tales you read on Tuesday.
(Or Wednesday if I don’t make deadline) I’ve found that I get a much better
read on my own reaction to something on the track if I am seeing it for the
first time, so that what I find funny becomes funny to you; what I view as
serious, you read as serious. It works for me and I hope it works for you as
well.
I hope
you’ve enjoyed this little peek behind the scenes into my somewhat twisted mind
and that it will increase your reading pleasure by knowing exactly who is who.
I know many of you don’t have that problem, as I’ve had hundreds of emails
telling me that my little nicknames have come to replace real names in
conversation. Remember, it’s all in fun and a good sense of humor is truly a
gift from God.
God
bless our troops!
Be well
gentle readers and remember to keep smiling. It looks so good on you!
~PattyKay
Visit
the website; support the troops; they’re depending on us!
And...
as I sit here working on New Year's Day... but not too
hard... Jim, my Partner in Crime here at Race Fans Forever, is preparing to
dunk his ample derriere into the Atlantic Ocean in something called a
"Penguin Swim." Good luck with that! (The lad must be mad) As
promised, I shall be here by the fire, warm and laughing all the while. Seriously,
it's for charity and I know God will bless him for his good works... and maybe
spare him pneumonia.
In closing, allow me to take this
opportunity to wish everyone that ventures here a very Happy and Prosperous New
Year. As I'm typing, it's only 24 days until the Rolex 24 at Daytona... SpeedWeeks begin three weeks from Saturday! Closer still,
Daytona testing is scheduled to be run January 9-11... that's
next Thursday through Saturday... and 12 hours of TV coverage are promised, all
on FS1. Thursday and Friday, live coverage will run each day from 1:00pm to
5:00pm. Coverage of Nationwide testing will be shown
on Saturday from 3:00pm to 7:00pm. (I see no "live" listing for
Saturday)
We're getting there, race fans.
We'll be racing again before you know it. Until then, just stop by each day to
share a giggle or a smile. Racing and smiles are what we're all about... and
not necessarily in that order.
Be well gentle readers, and
remember to keep smiling. It looks so good on you!
~
PattyKay
[email protected]