A Voice For The Fans ~ Just Punch Each Other And Shut Up, Already
6/17/2014 |
I bid
you welcome, gentle readers, and a warm welcome as
well to our assigned reader of all things NASCAR, snuggly tucked into a cubicle
somewhere within the Fan and Media Espionage Center in beautiful Charlotte,
North Carolina. "We kid because we
care." ~ Chris Myers.
As I
pull up to the keyboard on this morning before the race at Michigan, there is a
problem... a serious problem; I have nothing to say. Your scribe is not mad at
a single soul, but that part is OK, as these columns tend to be more upbeat than
of the complaint genre... sometimes.
Well,
there is one tiny tidbit of news, or perhaps gossip if you will, floating about
the garage, the TV, the radio and probably being transmitted via smoke signals
for all I know. It seems that little Kasey Kahne is not speaking to little Kyle
Busch, and little Kyle is perfectly happy to return the favor. If that doesn't
sound like a problem on the playground within the kindergarten class of any
elementary school anywhere, it should.
Of
course, these two "kiddies" are not really kids at all, with Kyle
being 29 and Kasey 34 years of age. Add to that, these two are together at
least three days every week... days spent in the close quarters of the NASCAR
garage and the even closer quarters of the race track du jour... and that seems to be the problem. No matter the size of the
race track, the two seem to unerringly set about a seek
and destroy mission on almost a weekly basis. Both claim it is all accidental,
but of late, Kasey isn't so sure, and neither, it would seem, is Kyle.
As far
as position for the year to date, Kyle is faring far the better of the pair. He
is currently shown 6th in the standings, 55 points behind leader Jeff Gordon
and with a win to his credit. Kasey, who seems to find serious problems this year
even when Kyle is in a different time zone, is mired in 21st place, 147 points
from the front and nary a win to be seen since Pocono last August. Kyle will
most likely at least make the Chase, though how long he'll last remains to be
seen. His record for that part of any season is not a stellar one. Kasey, on
the other hand, appears to have little or no chance lest he score two wins in
the next twelve races... a feat difficult to accomplish with a car that finds
the SAFER barrier at about a 35-1 ratio with Victory Lane.
NASCAR,
I'm sure, wants to bill this temper tantrum times two as a serious
"rivalry", worthy of comparison to Petty and Pearson or Earnhardt and
Bodine. Oh, stop it! This is a spat between two little boys with potty mouths.
Just separate them for a bit and maybe send them to their rooms to reflect.
Their very actions indicate they are not to be taken seriously. Serious was Lee
Petty clouting Curtis Turner off a rail fence with a wrench rolled up in a
newspaper. Instant attitude adjustment. Not speaking
to each other is juvenile at best, and speaking about each other in words
that turn the air blue is even more so.
Oh, and
while we're on the subject, let's talk a bit about those "words" that
are allowed to float unabated into the living rooms of America during every
race. FOX, TNT, ESPN... listen up guys and gals. This scribe is a spritely 75
years old and counting. Heck, I may have coined a couple of those words in my
younger days, but that doesn't mean I want them spoon-fed to my granddaughters,
or to anyone else's kids or grandkids. Please, don't anyone give me the bit
about "freedom of speech." I claim instead, "freedom of
listening." I don't run a scanner... for this very reason. I'm a big girl
and I've worked in garages. I know that men cuss and swear. That, however, is
not the reason I turn on my TV on Sunday, but it may be the reason I turn it
off. C'mon networks, let the folks that want to listen to that garbage do so on
the readily available scanners. There is no need to play and replay it for the
benefit of anyone that might have missed an "F-Bomb" somewhere along
the line.
All of
the replays this week stem from Coach Joe Gibbs coming out in opposition to his
driver(s) using foul language as if the "F" word were a comma. Now,
call me crazy, but I don't think that Coach made that speech to encourage the
press to replay conversations ad nauseum, tossing about all the dirty words
Kyle knows... and he surely does know some.
Kyle,
might I have just a private word or two with you? Your mouth runs like a
mountain stream in the spring thaw... and just as that turbulent stream carries
a lot of really muddy water, so too does your mouth spew a whole lot of really
dirty words. To put it as politely as I can... just shut up!
To my
gentle readers, if you don't care to listen to what is transmitted on a private
channel and never intended for our ears, do post up here and let the networks
know that in no uncertain terms. As stated, scanners are readily available for
those that can't live without the voice of their favorite driver, whatever he
has to say, but it surely is not necessary to broadcast some conversations for
the sole purpose of letting us see the air change color.
Kyle and
Kasey... Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee...
either kiss and make up or take it out behind the barn the way the big boys
used to do and settle it once and for all. No one is impressed with your
typical two-year old tantrums, and quite frankly, we, the fans, don't really
care if you ever speak to each other again. Just don't cuss about each other
for our benefit. Man up or chicken out, but for goodness sake, don't do it on
your radio.
NASCAR,
it's your turn. How about taking some pity on your fans and asking the networks
not to broadcast
questionable conversations into our living rooms? That shouldn't
be too much to ask. It really shouldn't. Oh, and you might want to try sending
the kids to bed without supper. They won't starve from missing one meal, but
they'll cry about dessert.
And now
gentle readers, it's time for our Classic Country
Closeout. Today I've decided to break my own rule about not playing an artist's
biggest hits or most familiar offerings, so in that light, here are Roy Rogers
and Dale Evans doing their massively popular theme song, "Happy Trails to You." Please
enjoy...
And of
course, if you grew up in the 1940s, where there was Roy, there was also Gene.
Gene Autry, that is, the "other" of the two most popular of the
singing cowboys, and here he is, doing his theme song, "Back in the Saddle Again."
Ah yes,
the good ol' days, when the cowboy kissed his horse and rode off into the
sunset without the girl...
Be well
gentle readers, and remember to keep smiling. It looks so good on you!
~ PattyKay